It Starts With You

Are you a hero or a villain in your own story? I believe we are all a little bit of both. Joseph Campbell describes the hero’s journey in three essential stages: seperation (sometimes called departure), initiation, and return. The concept of the hero’s journey has been explained, analyzed and argued over the internet, and I am not here to explain it nor analyse the shit out of it. Joseph Campbell’s hero journey has been a guide for my own evolution and liberation and has been a great source of comfort as I learn to walk into the dark woods of uncertainty and face my demons to emerge stronger, and more evolved in body, mind and spirit.

We all start our own journey when we are put on this earth although most will never be self-aware enough to realize this. For those who are aware and curious enough to keep reading, your hero’s journey has already begun, and has probably taken a few cycles to be where you are in this moment.

My last, and most profound cycle began on the floor of a literacy room in a local school where I was teaching. I truly believe this is where my origin story began. It was a moment of complete grief, surrender and a deep realization what what I was doing was no longer working for me. I was so externally focused on others and my external world trying to save, fix and be everything for everyone, that I no longer had access to my own internal messaging. In fact, as a reactionary, I had been ignoring and supressing the messages from not only my body, but also my mind and my soul. I was numbing with over eating, overworking, overthinking and supressing my body’s messages to slow down. I was dependent on external validation and completely unaware of this dependence and it’s negative effect on me.

Fast forward three years and I have evolved to aI completely different version of myself. One that is not only aware but also listens and is lead from an inner power source that had been suppressed for most of my life. It started in the gym and it has infiltrated all parts of my life with love, compassion, gratitude and given me more freedom and joy that I ever have had before.

I stopped trying to fix and save and change the people around me when I learned to practice acceptance and realized that a life of seamless perfecton is neither realistic or compassionate.

Instead of trying to become the best version of myself through striving and pushing and fixing and changing myself, I learned to slow down and surrender to what already is, and to live in a state of AS.IS.NESS in the here and now without striving, forcing anything, or wanting things (or people) to be different than what they are.

But this journey started with me.

Allowing myself to be who I am, and learning to nurture and love all parts of myself with radical compassion and acceptance as verbs and not nouns. That meant taking one foot and putting it in front of another and slowly going forward into the unknown. It meant learning to listen to the messages from my body and soul so I could finally feel safe enough to trust myself, let go and release. It meant being willing to slow down and be uncomfortable and to forgive all the versions of me who didn’t know any better, who were trying to push and strive and be more, because they didn’t feel worthy enough to be accepted as they were.

I am done with trying to fix and save the world to create external conditions that make me feel O.K.

The journey now is about learning to be whole and complete within myself independently of external circumstances. To be steady no matter what.

To be a lighthouse, steady on shore, shining her light on others, as they guide their own boats in to shore through my own actions

I am not there yet, but there is no THERE. So I am learning to be here and stay steady as the waves come crashing in hoping that my light can guide others to their own homecoming back to wholeness.

Our bodies are our vessel.

Our minds are the sails and our emotions the rudders.

The goal is to lead with the compass of my heart through self-compassion and self trust and slowly decrease the power of that fear and worry have over us. Disarming the heart allows us the freedom to choose our own adventure and unlocks our ability to listen deeply and trust ourselves and our unconditional wholeness. It allows us to be fully energized and experience your full aliveness and wholeness no matter what storms come our way.

I do not know where I am going, but I know that I am exactly where I want to be. One breath at a time, one moment at a time. That is all that exists and matters right now. TODAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY MOMENT WE HAVE.

Be here.

Be you.

Be brave.

Be love.

Believe.

We are all both hero’s and villains in our own story. No one is coming to save us and the universe doesn’t give a crap about us either. The only power we have comes from within us and the light from our hearts can be found only through walking through the darkness rather than avoiding it.

It begins when you decide to start and believe that it is possible and to not walk away the minute you feel resistance. This matters. You matter. You are the one you have been waiting for. It is time to surrender and trust the only person who has had your back this whole time.

You are the one. You were born to shine. Start somewhere. Rest when needed and return to the wholeness that you already are.